The Priority of the Family in the Life of the Christian

 

The Priority of the Family in the Life of the Christian

It doesn't matter if you preach with a golden tongue, have a successful business, own the libs, etc., if you lose your family. What does it profit if you gain the world, but lose your soul (Mark 8:36)? Worse, what does it profit if you gain the world, but lose the souls that belong to you and are entrusted to your care, that is, your family, your wife and children (I Tim. 3:4-5, Titus 1:6)?

This is a matter of priority, of ordered loves, of intentionality and focus. We must have good preachers/churches, good businesses, good governments, and our labors to these ends are not in vain. But if we have those good things, but do not have our families, we have sinned grievously, are worse than unbelievers in our neglect even of their bodily needs (I Tim. 5:8), and will be utterly miserable and destitute in the end (Prov. 17:25). Better to part with good health, than to part with our own flesh and blood family.

This means that our work schedule, whatever our vocation, secular or within the Church, must not compromise our first and highest duty to our family, our wife and children. The family is in God's covenant, under Christ's blood, and as such, is precious to Him. The Lord has instituted marriage to reproduce His very image in offspring, and to provide a holy seed for the Church, to baptize and teach, nurturing them in the Lord as His disciples from birth (Deut. 6, Eph. 6, etc.).

We once understood this as a nation. We have long forgotten. The solution is multi-pronged, but at root, a return to the God-ordained priority of the family, of the home, of covenantal faithfulness down through the generations, of churches and communities that emphasize this priority and minister with this as the chief priority, is absolutely essential. We need the cover of government that will also emphasize this, but when the church herself does not emphasize what God commands, it is hard to conceive of government officials, in mass, doing so.

But being fruitful and multiplying has a way of scaring the overlords and tearing down strongholds. Israel in bondage in Egypt, we are told in the opening chapters of Exodus, "were fruitful and increased abundantly, multiplied and grew exceedingly mighty; and the land was filled with them."  

From faithfully having many children, teaching them to remember the LORD and be separate from the pagans around them, the midwives sparing the male children, and Moses being protected and floated down the river in a miniature ark, defying Pharaoh's edict of abortion and infanticide of male Israelite children, God raised up a deliverer of His people, Moses, who was trained by the King of Egypt, in Pharaoh's walls, in order to ultimately destroy Pharaoh and his mighty armies, just as Pharaoh feared in Exodus chapter 1. God wrought salvation through means of covenantal faithfulness in very practical, seemingly small things. Having many children, raising them to know the Lord, not murdering but rather protecting your children and defying the wicked government edict.

The very command Pharaoh instituted to prevent his destruction, God used to bring about his destruction. As God promises, He always destroys the enemy in their own nets, in their own pits, in ways we cannot imagine (Ps. 37:14-15, Ps. 141:10, etc.). This is God's story, and he uses us in it, but He shall have the glory, He is always the main actor, and He brings about His glory and kingdom.

That King of Egypt, that Pharaoh, died, but then Israel groaned out to the Lord because of their bondage, and God in His covenant faithfulness heard their groaning, and God "remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God acknowledged them." (Ex. 2:24).

Those who are in Christ today are Abraham's children, heirs according to the promise (Gal. 3:29), and God still remembers His covenant with Abraham, continued, renewed, and realized now in the blood of Christ, the new covenant, and gives us, the children of Abraham, His aid, Heb. 2:16.

We do not need to reinvent the wheel. We, rather, need to be faithful to God and do what He commands, being fruitful and multiplying, not raising our children for Pharaoh, not raising our children and neglecting our duties to them by sending them to government schools that hate us and our Lord, but raising them up in the fear, nurture, and admonition of the Lord, Eph. 6:4. We must disciple our children, from infancy, baptizing and teaching them all that the Lord has commanded, Matt. 28:19-20.

We do this in great hope and confidence, despite the "odds" as we look around us, that God will cause us to multiply in the land, our enemies to shudder and fear, bring about mighty conflict, and give to us mighty deliverance as we cry out to the LORD and serve Him.

Here’s the brass tacks steps that you need to take to achieve these ends, by God’s grace. If you aren’t married, pursue marriage to a godly spouse. Be a godly man, a godly woman, and in your marriage, be a godly husband/head of home, or a goldy wife/homemaker, and child-bearers. Parents, raise your children in the Lord, which means you must be willing to have children, lots of them as/if the Lord blesses, and raise them up for the Lord, with Fathers leading in family worship, in example, etc.

At the same time, you need the shepherding care and preaching ministry of a faithful church, which like finding a godly/excellent wife (Prov. 31:10), can be hard to come by these days. But it doesn’t matter. Find a godly spouse, get married, have children as the Lord provides, raise them for the Lord, and do so in the context of a solid church. If there isn’t one in your area, move to one. If you cannot find one, find if there are other godly families, and form a church plant. Trust the Lord, pursue and prioritize this, or your life and your family will be diminished at best, damned at worst.

What if your family situation is already broken and sinful? You yourself are wallowing in sin, not obeying God, not loving your spouse and children? Repent, truly, get the help you need, take responsibility for your own sins, and then build upon the firm foundation the Lord has provided. This, too, must be done in the context of a healthy church.

Forming godly families within godly churches, as briefly mentioned in the last three paragraphs, is the key to transformation for yourself, your family, your churches, and by extension society. Sacrifice work, comforts, everything else, for these things, under God, and for His glory. If you have the above, you have the Lord’s blessing, for you, your house, and the church to which you belong. You can weather the storms, come what may. You have the community of the faithful, and God Himself. But when there is deep sin well-rooted in your own heart, in your family, or in your church, that leaven, in each of those places, spreads its wickedness to all that it touches, I Cor. 5. Your sin affects your family, and familial sins affect your church, and the sin in the church affects the general population and communities that you live in.

There is good news. Wonderful news. We aren't merely Israel in bondage or languishing in the wilderness any longer. As God's people and in worship particularly, we come to the heavenly Mt. Zion. We are filled with Christ’s Spirit and covered by His already shed blood. Do not refuse Jesus Christ who speaks to you from heaven. Serve the Lord with fear and trembling, with hope and gladness, with confidence that He will subdue the nations under His feet, remembering that the Church as the body of Christ are His feet, Psalm 47:3, Rom. 16:20.

Take heart, in this world we will have trouble, but for those in Christ, He has overcome the world, and we in Him have risen, and will rise, and will overcome through Him, John 16:33, Rev. 3:21.

If you lack a faithful church with the right priorities, come join us for worship at Heritage, to know, serve, and worship the Lord, for family building, and family healing, as God's covenant people: https://www.heritagereformedchurch.com/