A Wedding Homily on Genesis 1, Titus 2, Ephesians 5, and other passages: “A Faithful Marriage”
Our message from God’s Word is
titled “A Faithful Marriage”.
The true purpose and picture of
a faithful marriage is not popular today, sadly even in many of our churches
and among some of our ministers. We live in a day when many are not even sure
what a man or a woman is. No wonder, then, that we do not know what a husband
and a wife are to be in the bonds of holy matrimony.
Thankfully, our Lord has made
clear in the Scriptures that He has created mankind in His image and according
to His likeness, as male and female. He said in Genesis 1 the purpose of
creating man in His image was for them to have dominion over His creation. God
blessed us and commanded us to “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and
subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air,
and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
But God did not create man and
woman to have this dominion in isolation from one another, nor in identical
ways. God placed man in the Garden of Eden, after creating him from the dust of
the ground, with the purpose of tending and keeping, cultivating and guarding
the garden. Adam, the first man, could not do this alone however, and God said
that it was not good that he should be alone. So, a helper for the man was made
from the man, from the side of Adam. God Himself gave away this bride, whom we
come to know as Eve, for Genesis 1:22 says that God “brought her to the man”.
Adam is overjoyed to have a helper, and as God chose man to be the head of the
female sex (1 Cor. 11:3), Adam was chosen by God to name the female image
bearer taken from his side as “woman”. Gen. 1:23 states,
“And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall
be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”
So, when our nation today tells
women that “they don’t need no man”, they sin against God and the differing
natures and complementary design of male and female. The very name, “woman”, is
derivative of “man” and given to her by man, from whom she was taken, in order
to be a helpmeet to him, especially in the home for the sake of her husband and
children. Titus 2:4-5 explains, “that [the older women]
admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be
discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the
word of God may not be blasphemed.”
This is fitting for the
glorious, feminine nature that God has made for woman. Less experienced women
are taught by older and wiser women how to become faithful wives and mothers.
This is learned not in the classroom or out in the workplace, but in the home,
over many years, in faithful service to your family. Good order in the home is
the well-spring of a faithful marriage. Without it, God’s Word is blasphemed.
Beloved, this is how true
dominion is taken for the Lord. Men tend and keep the garden of their home, by
leading, guiding, and protecting. They also go out into the world, working in
order to improve it and to further provide for their household. Wives are more
domestic. The Psalms describe them as a vine bearing much fruit in the heart of
the home. Psalm 128: “Blessed is every one who fears
the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, You
shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a
fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants
All around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears
the Lord.”
This was God’s design from the
beginning, and it is meant to continue until kingdom come. With the husband
lovingly leading, and the wife helping and following, man and woman in marriage
together take dominion for the Lord’s glory.
Feminism is a major problem in
our nation today, as it was even in Paul’s day in New Testament Times. So, Paul
further urged the domestical duties of the woman in 1 Timothy 5, where he said
he desires that they would “bear children, manage the house, give no
opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some have already
turned aside after Satan.” Paul provides this as the antidote to the busy-body
woman who wanders from house to house for the purpose of sharing gossip. So we
plainly see that God’s Word addresses the particular vices and temptations not
only of men, but also of women.
But God’s word also praises
gendered piety. The good works especially relevant to the feminine nature of
the woman are seen in her having “brought up children, if she has lodged
strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the
afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work” (1 Timothy 5:10)
Rearing children, showing
hospitality to strangers, washing saints’ feet, relieving the needy -- these
are all good works done, you guessed it, primarily in the home, and God kindly
gives these duties to the married woman as part of her glorious calling. This
of course provides tremendous help and delight to her husband. The home should
be a place of fruitfulness, of hospitality and industry, and God has called the
wife and mother to accomplish this, making the home warm, welcoming, and
comforting to all who enter in.
Are you starting to see the
picture that God has painted for marriage? As man was planted in a garden and
given woman to help him there, the call God has given mankind is to reproduce
something of the glory and beauty of the garden -- a piece of Eden restored to fallen
earth again -- in each home, within each family. In a Christian marriage, that
love for God and fellowship with Him that was lost in the fall has been
restored through Christ. Children from such a union are born not only into the
Christian home, but into the Christian Church, graciously included in the
household of their covenant God. Parents, husband and wife together, are to
cultivate their home and their offspring, with the husband and father as the
head, the patriarch of his household, the one chiefly responsible for seeing to
it that his wife is instructed and his children are brought up in the training
and admonition of the Lord.
But a happy, holy, faithful
marriage is impossible if the man will not lovingly lead and the woman will not
reverently follow. It is that simple. “Leading” and “following” are neither
dirty words nor abusive ideas. It is God’s design. Marriage is not meant to be
a tug of war between two co-equals vying for power or trying to constantly
persuade the other to change their mind.
Rather, Ephesians 5 tells us
that marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. Christ the Lord is
represented by the husband, who reflects Christ as a prophet by teaching the
truth, a priest by praying fervently for his wife and children, and a king by
leading and guiding them in the paths of righteousness. The Church in her pure
devotion and submissive obedience is represented by the wife, who shows her
faithfulness to God by her subjection to their own husbands “in everything” as
Ephesians 5:24 says. And God has kindly fitted the male nature to his calling,
and the female nature to hers.
So then, sir, you are vowing to
take this woman and to love her as your own flesh, even as Christ gave Himself
for His own bride, the Church, which is also called Christ’s body, for we are
of His flesh and of His bones (Eph. 5:30). Nourish and cherish her, and so be a
reflection of Christ to her indeed. Though Christ cannot and has never sinned,
you will. When you do, repent and confess your sin to God, and to her. Do not
let your sin hinder you from being the head of your home, for the good of those
in your home. Do not let former sins that you have confessed and your wife has
forgiven sap your strength to serve her by your loving leadership. Your calling
is nothing less than to mirror Christ, as Christ for His bride is said to
“sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might
present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish” (Eph. 5:27). Your
headship is for her holiness, and is not to be abused out of selfishness, nor
neglected so that she is without guidance.
And yes, your bride, too, is a
sinner. She like you is not yet without spot or blemish, but it is your responsibility
to lead her in the Lord and His goodness, through His Word and with His help. You
must lead not in word only, but also with godly living and masculine virtue.
You must anticipate and wisely plan for things pertaining to this life, and
especially for the life to come. If she is to pour herself out to serve you in
the home, you must order the affairs of this life outside the home and relieve
her of any burdens there as best you can. And as you are, God willing, blessed
with children, it is your duty to shepherd and disciple them also.
Remember that the Bible teaches
you to cherish and acquire wisdom and understanding more than silver and gold.
Godliness with contentment is great gain. “Better is a dry morsel with
quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife” (Prov. 17:1). Labor most
of all for godly peace in your family, even above wealth and success in your life
vocations, and you will find that the Lord will provide your daily bread.
Your bride is called to submit
to you in marriage, and to respect you. Do not make this hard for her. Cherish
her, and she will respect you. Tenderly guide and instruct her, and she will
have greater light to follow and imitate you, even as you imitate Christ. Fight
for her purity, even as Christ fights for ours, and she will be drawn ever
closer to you, to love and serve you in the home, and to bear your children
with joy. This will increase your delight in her, even as Christ delights in
His bride the more He washes her and makes her spotless and holy as He is holy.
Now madam, you are vowing to
take this man and to receive him as your head in the home, to become one flesh
with him, to be led by him, and to be his helpmeet in this life. As he should
treat you kindly and tenderly, you also be kind and compliant to his commands.
Respect and encourage him, and he will all the more easily and readily love and
lead you into goodness and truth. Yes, he will sin and disappoint at times. Do
not be surprised by this, for you, too, are a sinner and will not perfectly
represent the Church in spotless purity. But as a gentle and quiet spirit is
very precious in the sight of God Himself (1 Pet. 3:4), so it will be in the
eyes of your husband, as he beholds your chaste conduct and willingness to
serve him despite his shortcomings. Do this by God’s grace, and your husband
and children will rise up and call you blessed, praising God and telling others
of your wonderful virtue and service to them (Prov. 31:28).
Finally, to all of you here
witnessing this marriage, reflect upon your own marriage if you are so blessed,
or God willing your future marriage. Behold the beauty before us in this church
and with this couple. Consider how it pictures the strength of Christ and the pure
devotion of His bride, the Church, as portrayed for us in Revelation
19:6-9:
“And I heard, as it were, the
voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of
mighty thunderings, saying, “Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! Let
us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has
come, and His wife has made herself ready.” And to her it was granted to be
arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous
acts of the saints. Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are
called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!’ ” And he said to me, “These are the
true sayings of God.”
When you put the
husband-and-wife-to-be together in this full regalia, side by side, you see the
distinct glory of the man and the distinct glory of the woman as God has
designed and destined them to be, as male and female renewed in His image.
The world began in a garden,
with a wedding. For those in Christ, we are bound for a glorious wedding feast
in heaven, which Eden’s garden merely foreshadowed. The feast is for us, for
you and me, for somehow by God’s grace we have been washed white as snow in the
blood of Christ, and by His Spirit we are putting off sin and putting on
righteousness as a garment, being made ready to embrace the Lamb that was slain
for our sin and raised up to glory for our full redemption!
So, all here witnessing this
earthly marriage, be sure that you are called to the true and heavenly
marriage, taking on the heavenly groom’s Name in submissive fidelity to Him, the
sweet name above all names of the Lord Jesus Christ. Rejoice for this glorious
union of this groom and bride. Do all you can by prayer, word, and example to
help them have a lasting, God-glorifying, faithful marriage of serving the Lord
as they serve one another as husband and wife. And by this, may they draw
nearer to Christ their Lord and Savior in heaven. Amen.
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