365 Days of Male and Female Piety
What is
male and female piety? What is true, godly masculinity and femininity? How is
virtue cultivated in men and women? Even pagans and unbelievers have had a
sense of piety, or pietas in Latin. For the Romans, this focused on
loyalty and duty toward the gods, country, and family, especially toward the
household and parents. In 1 Timothy 5:4 we are commanded to “show piety
at home” by honoring the widows in our family and meeting their needs rather
than burdening the church with alleviating the needs of widows. The Apostle
Paul’s writings in the Bible often refer to distinct duties in the home and
family for male and female, for the husband and father as well as the wife and
mother (Ephesians 5:22-6:9 is just one of many places where Paul addresses
these matters). This piety must go beyond the immediate household to more
extended family, and Paul even indicates a particular love and loyalty to his
kinsmen and nation of Israel (Romans 9:3-4; 10:1; 11:14). This book focuses on what
some have called sexed or gendered piety, that is, the piety proper to men as
males or masculine, and to women as females or feminine. Such male and female
piety will be applied to the realms of the home (including marriage and
children but also more extended family), church (the distinct callings,
positions, duties, and behavior of men and women in the corporate worship
services and general life and fellowship of the congregation), and society (to
include many things from employment, industry, commerce, business, medicine,
technology, politics, government, social clubs, education and academia, the
military, etc.) . Cultivating gendered or sexed piety and virtue in each arena
of life is essential, but today we have flattened out manhood and womanhood and
reduced them to hardly distinguishable roles rather than distinct sexes that
touch upon our very beings, and in that sense, our very natures as either male
or female image bearers of God.
But first, let’s consider how we have
strayed from the true, biblical path and have horribly inverted God’s purpose
and design for the male and female sex. Both church and society have largely
followed the world into what can be called a feministic egalitarianism. In
other words, the sensibilities of the female sex are now meant to rule over the
home, church, and government. This is our culture’s egalitarian impulse, which pervades
every sphere of life in the name of “equality” or “fairness”. The quiet (or not
so quiet) assumption is that women have been suppressed for too long, their
voices unheard, their faces unseen in the public square, and thus (it is
wrongly alleged) their influence non-existent in the course of human history.
History has been too brutal and bloody without women having at least an equal
share of leadership, influence, and opportunity. Here is a basic definition of
Egalitarianism, from Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary [https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/egalitarianism]:
1: a belief in human equality especially with respect to
social, political, and economic affairs.
and
2: a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities
among people.
[Merriam-Webster says that this word was first used in 1874.]
So, in the doctrine of feministic
egalitarianism, it is safer when women balance out men and keep them in check,
to “equalize” or balance the equation. Men must be civilized by women, and this
is the real “help” that the Bible proclaims, “help” in which the woman in
essence domesticates or moderates the man. Notice that this requires the male
image bearer, as created by God, to be “defective” if not outright sinful prior
to man’s fall into sin. Woman as helpmeet becomes woman the tamer of men, the only
way the nations of the world will finally beat their swords into plowshares
(Isa. 2:4). According to this novel doctrine, to promote true peace and harmony
is to promote the compassion and agreeableness of the female sex writ large
over all spheres of life and in every institution. Men perhaps can still be
permitted to “lead”, provided they become soft and mild and agreeable, like
women. Of course, the woman will have the final say on when man has achieved
this cultured state of civility. While we should recognize that men are fallen
sinners who have led in wicked and destructive ways many times throughout
history, what has feministic egalitarianism produced over the last few
generations or centuries? It has only led to female sympathies (which is
productive in the home and family when governed by God’s Word) running afoul
and ruining the public sphere. This is especially seen in toleration of
wickedness and compassion for the evildoer who is too often viewed as simply a
victim of his or her circumstances, mistreatment, or oppression. The LGBTQ+
insanity, abortion on demand, mandated diversity quota policies, and mass
immigration of foreigners without even an expectation or requirement to
assimilate (and no sympathy for the native citizenry and families that built
and established their country for their posterity) are prime examples of the
wicked fruit flowing from the Egalitarian impulse. What we desperately need today
is the tender humility, modesty, devotion, and submission of the woman, and
especially the wife. This truly helps the man in his calling, which also helps
him rightly channel his energy and masculine vigor to productive ends (cf. 1
Pet. 3:1-7).
But
feminized egalitarianism has instead taught women to become checks on men and
competitors with men, in turns striving to match yet also neuter masculine
strength, piety, and virtue. It is certainly true that men are fallen, sinful,
and that their natural male drive and dispositions can also run afoul and into
excess. But God is not an Egalitarian. He has not ordained that men and women
would equally share rule and authority in the home, church, or civil society. Headship
is given to men in principle, and women are helpers to the men. God has not
only called men and women to these distinct roles, but He has designed and
equipped them, as male and female, to these distinct ends. While both man and
woman equally share human nature and bear the image of God, they do so
differently from one another as men and women, as male and female. Masculinity
is intrinsic to men and femininity to women. In other words, men are better at
being masculine, and women are better at being feminine, not only because they
fulfill that role, but because that is what they are! Men are built by God for
headship and women for helping and nurturing. Women are to be valued and
cherished as helpers to men, “for man is not from woman, but woman from man.
Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man” (1 Corinthians
11:8-9, NKJV). We should recover and honor these distinct glories of both the
man and the woman. But feministic egalitarianism wants to flatten out the
distinction between male and female, robbing both of their glory and God’s good
design for each. A softened man and a hardened woman are both miserable
creatures and make for a miserable marriage.
Men must exercise masculine, loving
leadership, for this is God’s good design. God has given men the natural strength
and resolve to lead under pressure. And yet, men have allowed or perhaps even are
orchestrating our current state of sexual confusion. Many men today would
rather abdicate their authority, or worse, rule behind the scenes in various
institutions through hardened women and weakened men. Masculine strength and
virtue, true male piety, must therefore be suppressed as a natural defect according
to the schemes of these wicked men. Masculinity must be viewed as nothing other
than the source of all our problems in war, violence, greed, squalor, and
misery. God made women to tame the men, but man has refused to be tamed by
woman, and using his brute strength has kept woman in second place between the
sexes. This is the feminized, egalitarian presupposition or impulse that we are
born into today and that is reinforced by men behind the curtain who profit
from male weakness and female antagonism. Of course, now if you speak of only
two sexes or two genders this itself is a hate crime! Female compassion has gone
to seed so badly that a man (or woman) can mutilate his own flesh and declare
himself a woman to the applause and agreement of many men and women, even with
legal recognition in some cases.
God’s
created order, seen in nature, cannot be dissolved with the stroke of a pen,
injection of hormones, or even with the cutting of a knife upon the private
parts. These things tear the soul and sunder the conscience. The murder of the
developing baby in the nurture of the mother’s womb not only takes the life of
the baby but also tears the soul of the cruel mother. Apart from God’s saving
grace, the murderous woman (and men who took part or passively permitted this
murder) will be guilt-ridden and haunted for this great evil. As women are
hardened against the fruit of their own womb, on the other side men are
suppressed and told to sympathize with women who must carry their children. Men
are taught to be guilty, or at least to feel indebted and under the woman,
simply because she bears their children in her body! These distortions and
mutilations of the body, mind, and soul are commonplace and contrary to both
God’s word and created order. Sometimes women are pressured by the men in their
lives to murder their babies, but the justification for baby murder is
almost always aligned with feministic egalitarian arguments.
Men should express gratitude and
thankfulness for godly, feminine women, and especially for wives and mothers.
This is good and proper. But instead, men are often conditioned to feel guilty
that they were planted in their mother’s womb or implanted their seed which
became their child in the womb of their wife. Women are psychologized to view
themselves as victims of brute men, or even if they are Christian men, women
are still encouraged to hold over the heads of their husbands the burden of
being a helper to their husband as well as his homemaker and child-bearer. Greatness,
strength, courage, daring, and wisdom are all frowned upon as displays of
pride, foolishness, dangerousness, and delusion in men. Greatness is not needed
when feminine sensibilities are dominant and pitying women and the marginalized
or weakened in society is paramount. Greatness is risky, liable to promote
conflict and upset the status quo.
But have you noticed the status quo
lately? The feministic managed decline of our countries begs for God’s natural
order between male and female to rise from the ashes once again. The distinct
glories of male and female as God’s image bearers (Gen. 1:26-27) is powerful
and productive, especially when wedded to the grace of God found in Jesus
Christ and the Christian faith. This is because, while man is fallen, Christ
the last Man restores fallen humanity, male and female alike, to their true
design and calling. Every sin can be cleansed through faith in Christ’s atoning
death. The differing male and female natures and glories of men and women find
their restoration and indeed their culmination through union with the risen
Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. But even apart from redemption in Christ, the
natural order between the sexes that God has established is better than the
unnatural and perverse disorder that we see today. Fornication is a sin, but
homosexual fornication is an abomination worthy of death. Men sinning through
excessive masculinity is wicked and will send one to hell, but men sinning
against their nature, emasculating themselves and becoming effeminate, is a sin
not only against God and others, but themselves, and makes one twice a son of
hell. The same for women who harden their natural tenderness and femininity,
despising these gifts from God as worthless and weak.
These are sins against nature, or
sins against your own sex as male and female. They occur when men fail to be
the loving leaders, protectors, and providers that God has created them to be,
and when women refuse to help their husbands and submit to their loving rule
and headship, choosing instead to strive to rule over men in general and their
husbands in particular (Gen. 3:16). These are monstrosities not only in action,
but against nature and the natural inclinations that even unbelievers and
pagans still often possess by God’s kindness. It is as disgusting as a man
wearing a dress, baking the cookies in a bonnet, and burping the baby out of a
guilted conscience that thinks his duty is to “split 50/50” the domestic burden
with his wife. This all should be seen as distasteful as a woman wearing a suit
and tie and leading a company, government, and nation out of a sense of female
empowerment, or a woman wearing fatigues with combat boots, going off to war to
defend her country and lay down her life for it (and the men). But if you are
like many today, you are offended or at least uncomfortable with what I said
about women here, yet unbothered with the part concerning the men. That is
because you, too, have been baptized into feministic egalitarianism from birth
and have been catechized by it all your life. When this impulse is in full
bloom, it yields a false religion, a heresy that demands the inversion or
equalizing of God’s good design for male and female gendered piety. But search
the Scriptures and your own conscience, for your very nature as male and female
screams against these lies.
Feminism and Egalitarianism can
only exist on the back of masculine strength and virtue, which in prior
generations and centuries conquered, settled, and cultivated lands. Great
buildings, technology, infrastructure, political wisdom, felling of forests,
paving of roads, putting down the evil of murderous men and treacherous hordes
of ungodly men, all of this was and is still possible only through the
strength, ingenuity, wisdom, and godliness of good and righteous men. Return to
the Garden of Eden, and we see that from the beginning it was always this way
and always meant to be this way. Eve, the woman, is a helpmeet to man, a
homemaker and child-bearer and life-giver. That is a glorious calling, but
society now teaches the female sex to betray her nature and glory as a woman to
play at being a man. She has become man’s competitor and rebuker, rather than
helper and lover. But it is not good for man to be alone, and what he needs is
a helper, a lover, a comforter, not a pretended man in the home to fight and
compete against. “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious
and angry woman” (Prov. 21:19). But unfaithful men make for lazy and stupid
heads of homes, churches, and societies, which leave women helpless,
directionless, and tempt them to take charge and “wear the pants” themselves.
God help us all to repent of our sins, and may we do so specific to our sex,
whether male or female!
In our
present moment, men are still expected in some ways to uphold stability and
society, yet in an emasculated fashion, always henpecked by the womanly of both
sexes. Men are still to rescue the damsel in distress (that is, be blamed and
take the blame for all the distress of women) while the damsel refuses to
acknowledge her distress or that she can even be considered a “damsel”. As a
result of this, many men have either fallen in line by cutting off their
masculine drive and self-respect, or by at least selectively toeing the line
now imposed upon them by feministic egalitarianism. They will arise to defend
the woman, the weak, the stranger far away, but will not stand to defend their
fellow man, the one in need nearby, nor will they admire and model themselves
after the strong and successful. The feminist gaze keeps them captured, and
they can only be dubbed “manly” by upholding the feministic and egalitarian
order. Otherwise, they must be soft and gentle, non-threatening, against
adventure, risk averse, and dare only to never be daring. This flows from a
soft, meek and mild version of Jesus Christ and Christianity as well.
Other
men have reacted hard against this, and are seeking to get stronger physically,
sometimes swearing off of women entirely, and are either turning to what they
see as more masculine forms of Christianity, or more often than not, are
rejecting Christianity (or at least churches) altogether as a soft religion for
pesky women. Scandalously, many of our churches and pastors are in fact
feminized, following the spirit of our age rather than being the daring,
counter-cultural, prophetic voice of God as understood through the Scriptures. Yet
the overreaction and over-correction by some men is not actually masculine
either, but often an expression of bitterness, hopelessness, and weakness,
resorting to whininess and impotency, and therefore effeminacy.
The Compromise of Complementarianism
More conservative churches since
about the 1970’s or 1980’s have championed what is commonly called complementarianism.
But complementarianism has become (or perhaps always was) a halfway house
between biblical fidelity and full-blown feminism.[1]
It says that men and women have differing roles to play, but these roles still
yield an equal partnership, and the differing natures of men and women are
either denied or dodged. In effect, this promotes asexuality, that men and
women are sexless image bearers, but this is supposedly salvaged by calling men
to fulfill the role of a male, and females are to uphold the role of a woman.
But even these “roles” are hollowed out to a few Bible verses, mostly saying
that while women cannot be ordained to preach, they can still be paid on church
staff and earn seminary degrees to qualify them for “un-ordained” ministry in
the church. Why? Because the distinction between male and female is not rooted
in their differing sexes, but merely in “roles” they play or act out. The worst
expressions of this are succinctly put as “a woman can do anything an
unordained man can do” because it is claimed there are no natural differences
between male and female, and it is further claimed this is all Scripture
forbids. Both claims are false.
It is often said that women
counselors are needed in the church because men cannot effectively minister to
women. So sometimes “sex” differences are noticed, sometimes they are ignored,
but always in the direction of feminized egalitarian ends. The sexes are
flattened out to sameness, and yet women still are said to need other women to
lead them. But where Scripture says women ought to lead (in the home, under and
in obedience to their husband and as caretakers of the children, Titus 2:3-5),
this is either outright despised or a point of embarrassment for many in our
churches today, including many complementarians. Too many church officers are
weakened men who allow themselves to be henpecked by their hardened wives or
the emboldened women in their congregations who themselves have not been
governed well by their fathers and husbands.
So then,
men must be called to be men indeed. Stop letting the feminization of society
and Christianity prevent you from being a godly man. Do not despair and become
bitter, for that is not manly and only neuters yourself in a different way. Do
not emasculate yourself at our culture’s demand and become an effeminate
gal-pal. Do not embrace the assertiveness and toughness of a man without the
righteousness and wisdom that God also created man to embody and exercise in
his life and leadership. Love women, even though they are rebellious,
especially in this age, for so are many men and so has the church been down
through the ages. Possess and express the faith that real men are to have in
Christ, the great and worthy God-Man. Be the visionary that so many men refuse
to be, provided you have this gifting, calling, and opportunity. Blaze the
trail for a godly, masculine public square once more, doing so at the scale and
capacity the Lord has allotted to you. This often begins with the formation of
a family, with marriage and children, but includes work and other duties prior
to or apart from marriage. It takes just one godly, feminine woman to be found,
or more likely formed and wooed by your masculine strength and Christian
virtue. Let the countless feminist women despise you, and the emasculated men
as well. Show that you are a responsible man by working hard even when the deck
is stacked against you. Be diligent in corporate worship on Sundays, studying
the Scriptures, praying to the Lord, and not in a soft and effete fashion, but
one praying for great things, beginning with the great need of killing your own
sin by the power of the Spirit, being guided by God’s Word, in order that you
may rule yourself and your household well.
Call out with firmness, but not in
bitterness, the feminizing of things today, while also modeling and showing a
better way forward through self-discipline. Persevere against daunting
challenges by cultivating physical health and strength, ingenuity, and the open
desire to have a wife that will submit to you, follow you, support you, bear
your children and nurture them as her primary and chief calling that God has
given to her. Show that you value such a glorious woman, and that the domestic
sphere and work of bearing and rearing children and keeping the home is highly
prized and desirable in your eyes. Note that the loveliness of your wife would
be matched by her tenderness and sympathy directed where it should go, which is
toward her husband and her children whom she loves dearly above all else, save
God Himself. Cast that vision to women, no matter that many women (and foolish
men) will sneer at you. Some will secretly appreciate it or at least be
convicted by it. They cannot help it, for it is in their nature and will return
and renew them if they haven’t utterly suppressed and unsexed themselves. If
your weak male friends or even men at your church tell you this is too firm,
provided you are addressing these things with love for the Lord and love for both
men and women, tell them that they are too soft. Help them see that only a
loving, masculine, Spirit-wrought firmness and insistence on reality and God’s
good design for the distinct sexes can be the rock that men and women,
churches, and our society desperately need. Pray humbly and importunately
before the Lord to bless these efforts, that you would not be a hypocrite or
merely play-acting, but rather your words would be the overflowing of your true
character and righteous heart. Pray the Lord would then soften and shape the
heart of one woman to see that you are striving to be a masculine, virtuous,
pious Christian man who would be as a prophet, priest, and king to her, a
protector and provider in both physical and spiritual needs, whom she would be
blessed to help and have for a head, a husband.
Ladies, I would exhort you to receive
such a man as described above as a godly, virtuous example of biblical
masculinity. Cultivate in yourself an appreciation for such men, and a desire
to marry such a man if you desire marriage (most men and women should marry).
Do not allow churches or society today to beat out of you that natural,
feminine instinct to nurture, to desire to help others, and in particular the
desire to help a particular man and to become his wife, his helpmeet. Proverbs
31 is a great place to start considering the domestic calling and labors for
true womanhood and female piety. While it is centered around the home and
serving the family, it does not leave you always tied to the kitchen. A godly
woman is glad to serve in the kitchen, indeed barefoot and pregnant in the
kitchen, but also cultivates her children, educates them, works willingly with
her hands, makes a profit from the goods that she herself created, and then
with that profit considers a field and buys it in order to plant a vineyard.
Strength is in your arms and wisdom flows from your lips (Prov. 31:17, 26), but
that strength and wisdom is not as a man, it is not masculine. It is a feminine
strength and wisdom, expressed with kindness and tenderness, and you must learn
to differentiate feminine strength and wisdom from masculine strength and
wisdom, since our communities and many churches have done all they can to make
them identical.
It is
against this backdrop of our feminized and egalitarian society that I submit these
daily entries concerning male and female piety. They are structured such that a
particular Bible verse or passage is covered for seven days, a full week. Each
day alternates between addresses to men and women, and then on the seventh day,
both men and women are addressed together. Further, the topics of male and
female piety are focused in four areas, changing every 13 weeks. Here are the
four categories:
1.)
Man and Woman in the Image of God
2.)
Man and Woman in the Home
3.)
Man and Woman in the Church
4.) Man and Woman in Society
This orderly and layered structure
means you will be considering male and female virtue and piety from 52
different passages of Scripture in a year, and quarterly or seasonally the
focus of consideration shifts. Each
day’s entry will cover no more than one page in your printed book. Though most
days will alternate between addressing man and woman, both need direction today
in understanding not only their own sex and calling, but that of the opposite
sex as well. So do not skip entries just because roughly half of them are not
addressed to your sex!
This book in brief paints a complete
picture for what man and woman are and how they are to live in these sexually
broken times. I have written this to be beneficial for single men and women as
well as for the married. Most single folks should be urged to marry as the Lord
calls them, but also to use their time in the unmarried state productively and
as likely preparation for future marriage as well. Various daily entries will
address young and old, divorced and widowed, and the various relations we may
have in the church and society as well.
It is my desire that this work would
be used to strengthen men and soften women, as is proper to each, so that the
necessary foundation would be poured again for productive manhood and
womanhood, the formation of faithful and fruitful marriages would truly cultivate
children raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord according to the appropriate
piety of their particular gender, all of which reflects Christ and the Church
in the marriage and family (Eph. 5:22ff.). As the family is the seedbed of
society, so the household or family government is the necessary foundation for
civil and ecclesiastical government. When the rod is sinfully spared and
children are led astray or allowed to stray, future men will not wield the
sword of justice in civil government, nor will they exercise the keys of the
kingdom of heaven in church government in a righteous and biblical fashion. They
will spare the rod on their own children and thereby show that they hate them
(Prov. 13:24). These future women will not gladly submit to their husband’s
headship and be fruitful and productive in the domestic sphere, but rebel
against this and undermine the labors of men while neglecting their own
calling. May the Lord remedy these great evils in our nation today, and work in
our hearts by His Word and Spirit to renew us in His image and recover
masculine and feminine virtue and piety for His glory, our good, and the good
of the nations and societies upon all the face of the earth.
The Creation of Male and Female
Then God
said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let
them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and
over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that
creeps on the earth.” So God created man in His own image;
in the image of God He created him; male and female He created
them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and
multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the
sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on
the earth.
[Genesis 1:26-28]
Mankind, male
and female, is uniquely made in God’s image in both body and soul. This is seen
in man and woman being given dominion over all of creation, under God and for
God’s glory. Mankind is more valuable than the rest of creation and is
entrusted to bring out the potential God has embedded in His creation. God
breathed life into man, thereby distinguishing him from the animals and
rendering mankind morally responsible, created in God’s image for the purpose
of worshiping and serving the Lord on earth. As God took great care in creating,
so must we in exercising dominion over His creation. It is natural and proper
that animals (beasts of burden) would help us develop the earth, and at least following
man’s fall into sin, that man would kill and eat animals for nourishment and use
animal furs and wool for clothing and warmth. But it is wickedness and
inversion of God’s created order for animals to harm man. When a wild beast or
goring animal like an ox kills a human being, whether a man or a woman, we recognize
that the animal ought to be put to death (Ex. 21:28-29). When a hunter kills
his prey, that is not wickedness but an exercise of dominion, especially if the
killing is not for mere sport but to use the meat and fur of the animal for the
benefit of his fellow man.
While it should
go without saying, God has designed men to be the hunters, not women. This does
not mean women, especially if they are with men, can never go hunting for sport
or out of necessity. Scripture gives no account of a female hunter, yet multiple
accounts of male hunters, such as Nimrod and Esau.
Not all men
were hunters in Bible times or throughout history, but all men should be
protectors and providers, and the first to combat danger in their home, church,
and society. David was a faithful shepherd boy, delivering the lambs from the
mouths of lions and bears (1 Sam. 17:34), which prepared him to have the
courage to face Goliath and the tenacity to lead Israel as a conquering
Warrior-King. This masculine virtue is necessary because the world is dangerous
and wicked. Sometimes the evil or danger comes from other men and leaders, at
other times it is wild animals or natural disasters like earthquakes,
tornadoes, hurricanes, mudslides, or wildfires. Men who alleviate these dangers
should be praised for their sacrificial service, for almost all women cannot by
nature fulfill this service, and even many men are ill-suited to do so.
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