This simple distinction that Matthew Henry makes here is the very one our nation and most of our churches are incapable of making today. This is because we are more catechized by a feminized Egalitarianism than God's word on this point, or even our own Reformed catechisms and commentators:
"And as being heirs together: another reason why husbands should give honour to their wives, viz. because though by nature they are weak and unequal to their husbands, yet they are equal to them in respect of their being called to the same grace and glory, there being neither male nor female in Christ, Galatians 3:28."
Today, if you say that women or the female sex are "weak and unequal" in any sense, especially by nature, you will be accused of claiming that women are unequal in the latter sense that Henry lists here, namely, you will be accused of saying women are not equal to men in terms of being called to grace and glory. They will use the very same passage, Galatians 3:28, to make this accusation against you. This is because they are Egalitarians, whether they realize it or not. We all have to fight the Egalitarian beast around us and likely within us.
Then if you insist on this point, of women being the weaker sex naturally, you will likely be met with frustration or at least confusion as to why a Christian would need to mention this. You will be accused of being obsessive, imbalanced, if not harsh and outright hateful of women (a misogynist). But the answer should be obvious -- God Himself impresses this point in Scripture through Peter (and others), in the very text Henry is commenting on, 1 Pet. 3:7. It is in part because of the natural weakness of the woman/wife that the man/husband is to honor her, which includes patience and tender care, and committing to nourish and invest in her, as a good husband must do.
Such a faithful husband reflects Christ, who pours Himself into His body and bride, the Church, who without Him would be all the more weak and in great need, but with Christ the Lord is strong, fruitful, and productive. And so we also see in the immediately preceding verses in 1 Peter 3 that Sarah is commended for having a gentle and quiet spirit that obeys her husband Abraham and calls him "lord". She recognizes her husband in the home is as a lord to her, and she is thankful for this. And husbands should not deny their headship or authority in the home, but use it for good, and to recognize that the first honor and labor of that headship or lordship is to be exercised toward and for the good of the wife, his cherished body and bride whom he should tenderly love and lead, thereby giving honor to the weaker vessel who is nevertheless Spiritually a co-heir and co-equal in Christ and the kingdom of God.
This has to be said and insisted upon because it is true, and especially because even Christians who profess to be conservative and Bible-believing have either forgotten this, misunderstood this, or in most cases we all have been taught wrongly on this crucial matter. As a result, men are not performing their duties as heads (at least not fully) and women are left with a weak head, and often too big of a head and too hard of a heart for themselves. And a soft, submissive, and passive man with a hardened, stubborn and insistent wife is the opposite of what a husband and wife should be, and is the opposite of what men and women in general should be. It is contrary to the natures, glories, and designs that God has made and given to men and women as male and female, and thereby it creates a contradiction within themselves. It is not just sin against a gender role, but a sin against your gender, your sex or nature that God has made you in His image to possess and reflect well, whether male or female. It is self-destructive and that weakness and destruction, even if unintended, will manifest itself in your marriage, toward your children, and toward others.
If men love the Lord and their wives and women in general, they will lovingly insist on these realities for God's glory and the good of both male and female. So will godly women, just look at Titus 2 and what the older women admonish and teach the younger women to do. It is to be a faithful, obedient, industrious wife, mother, and homemaker, which are the very things the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for. May the Lord help us all, both male and female, to be and to do what God has designed us to be and called us to do.
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